PERSONALITY THEORY
How would you describe your mother's personality? Loving, caring, simple? And how would you describe the personality of your most hated enemy? Dirty, rotten scoundrel, correct? Now suppose you worst enemy had a child. How would that child describe its parent? Just like you described your own mother, right? All of us possess a complex personality of multiple characteristics and it is widely believed that the success depends on our overall personality. In the chapter titled 'Success Story', we had discussed about ‘quality spectrum'. Relating quality spectrum to personality here, we can say it represented the different 'colors' (qualities) of one’s personality and the various 'shades' of it ranging from the best to the worst. Depending on our 'personality portrait ' we become a hot property in the job market or an average mediocre product.
In the chapter on psycho-analysis we tried to figure out how personalities develop and take shape. We also learnt to differentiate between the winning streaks and losing streaks of our personality. It was emphasized in that chapter that we need not continue being a loser all our lives it we become aware of the losing streaks and discard them. For extremely poor cases, there is expert psychological help available and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody is entirely good or entirely bad and winner is someone who cultivates positive attributes painstakingly and slowly tilts the balance of personality in favour of winning streaks.
When I say that personality succeeds, it is a very subjective statement with a clearly defined reference frame. Success here means doing well in life in terms of the usual signs of success like prosperity, fame and a happy frame of mind. Personality includes the strengths and weaknesses the individual has. We would understand the reference frame better if I give an example.
This world that we live in has its own structural framework for everything. We have family as the smallest unit of this structure and the nation as the largest one. Everything in this world is inter-related and inter-dependent. That is the reality and we can talk about success only with reference to this reality of inter-connectedness and inter-dependence of people and things.
Can a man survive all alone? Not impossible, but extremely difficult?
Does anyone want to stay alone? Very few but most don't wish to be left alone.
Why some people are so popular and others are aloof loners?
It’s their personality which attracts people or puts them off, right? So, who in the world can hope to succeed? The people with a popular personality can, indeed. Now, we cannot interpret from this line of statements that loners are miserable failures. Because may be the person who prefers his own company to anyone else's may have his own reference frame and a personal definition of success. But we are not going to talk about exceptional cases and only talk from a 'majority' point of view. I hope that puts an end to any further hair splitting in this matter.
Selection criteria: Let us get to the specifics now because too much of generalization will be a self-defeating pursuit. When companies come to hire, their brief is to get a 'suitable' candidate.
What exactly is a 'suitable' candidate?
S- Speech (clear articulation, loud enough, comprehensible, good diction)
U- Upbringing (family background and the environment)
I- Intelligence (Ability for clear, logical and independent thinking)
T- Trade expertise (Skills, knowledge, aptitude etc)
A- Appearance (Looks smart, clothes, grooming, presentable)
B- Body languages (Signals confidence, not nervousness)
L- Likeness (Cultural compatibility will the organization, 'fit in')
E- Emotional Intelligence (can the candidate control his emotions?)
Let us first know some of these principles outlined here and the answers will become obvious.
Principle 1: Behaviour is a manifestation of personality:
Our behaviour flows from our personality. Loners, gregarious; generous, stingy; short tempered, even tempered; impatient, relaxed; critical, nurturing; all these are outward behavioral manifestations of our inner personality.
Principle 2: Success is a manifestation of behaviour:
If people around us are pleased with our behaviour, they help us and contribute to our success. If those around us are unhappy with our behaviour, the best they'll do is to keep a safe distance from us. At worst, they actively seek to block our success.
Have you found the key to success?
The 'Thought Cycle'
"Sow a thought, reap an action,
Sow an action, reap a habit,
Sow a habit; reap a character (Personality),
Sow a character, reap a destiny."
We can see that the greatest of destinies are shaped by a tiny thought. That thought makes us decide to take some action. The action when repeated becomes a habit. The habits become our second nature (our first nature was granted to us by our creator and it is in Gods own image i.e. perfect). Our habits define our character or personality and our success depends on the wholesomeness of our personality or character. I hope there is nothing confusing in the preceding explanation.
Think well, act well, cultivate good habit, develop a great character and you will become a winner.
Positive thinking:
So much material is already available in the market today on the power of positive thinking that I need not waste much time here. As has been demonstrated in the previous paragraph, the genesis of destinies is in the thought. Naturally, great destinies can only be built upon healthy, positive thoughts. For the sake of clarity I would like to share my thought on what I consider to be the meaning of positive thinking.
We all know that life is not a bed of roses but it is not a bed of thorns, either. There are good times and there are not so good times. Positive thinking implies that we keep living, laughing and toiling, despite the fact that we live in an imperfect worl. Positive thinking does not imply that we ignore or deny what is negative or unpleasant around us. We must know them so that we can overcome them or deal with them. Positive thinking is all about getting to understand the reality surrounding us and making the best out of it.
Myths & misconceptions regarding positive thinking:
· People believe that 'positive thinking' alone is sufficient to succeed. No way! The thought, however great, has to be put into practice to achieve some kind of results.
· Many people attach a spiritual connotation to the practice of positive thinking. The point is that positive thinking is a plain, simple decision. A decision that will frequently be put to test by adversity, ridicule, criticism and hostility of people around us.
· Positive thinking does obtain wonderful results but it has nothing to do with magic or religion. Yes, some people do practice positive thinking quite religiously, though!
Impact of positive thinking:
On self:
Positive thinking reduces anxiety, promotes good health and makes for pleasant living. It helps us to overcome difficult circumstances by giving us a clear line of thinking and encourages us to look for resources even at unexpected places. Positive thinking makes us self-reliant and protects us against emotional let down by people. We expect no one in particular and everyone in general to support us. It teaches us to think big but keep our feet firmly planted on the ground.
On others:
Our positive thinking also influences those around us and induces positivism. It fosters goodwill and co-operation and some of the best and biggest corporations in the world are founded on positive thinking and attitude.
How to develop positive thinking and apply it?
Begin by counting all your blessings!
Think of all the possibilities that life has offered you. Then thank God for giving you the priceless gift of human life and make a promise to yourself to make your life better every passing day. Try to live in the company of positive people and inspire others to be positive. The funny part is, no matter what is your level of living today, it could get worse and it could become better. So thank your stars that you are not worse off and promise yourself to do better.
Identifying your current thought pattern:
Take the test given below and answer truthfully to get a correct assessment of your current thinking pattern. The time you should take to complete this test is maximum 15 minutes. If you mark your responses spontaneously, the accuracy of this test will improve substantially. The procedure for scoring and marking the test and the range of possible interpretations follow at the end of this test. Do not answer a question without understanding it fully as this could affect the overall validity of your score and the likely interpretation.
Note: Do not pickup what you think would be a 'good' answer. Honesty would indeed be the best policy here.
Think – pro test
Indicate "True/False" in front of each statement.
1) Everybody these days are too busy with themselves to care about anyone else.
2) So am I.
3) Everybody that is somebody has reached there by manipulating and pushing.
4) I intend to do the same.
5) Teachers these days have become money minded and selfish
6) My father at his work place behaves the same.
7) Religion these days has become a hostage to some illiterate, frustrated blood-thirsty fanatics.
8) Even I admit I hold some negative sentiments against a certain religious community.
9) People generally shirk away when they are asked to shoulder some additional load or responsibility.
10) Even I insist that I shall do just my share and nothing extra or special if I don’t get any reward in return.
11) If you try and help the people with their problems, they shall keep coming back to you with more and more.
12) I also try not to get too involved with others affairs or problems.
13) Nice guys finish last.
14) I do not want to be a nice guy, either. What for?
15) Leaders in a battle-field get shot at first.
16) I do not appreciate the idea of getting a gallantry award posthumously
17) "Jhuggi-Jhopari" (slums) Clusters is hot-bed of criminal activities and gangsters.
18) I feel they should be shifted to the outskirts of the city.
19) The whole governmental machinery and system is highly corrupt. Nothing moves without kickbacks & commission.
20) That is why I would like to keep contacts with influential people so that I can get any job done quickly and easily.
21) Many people travel ticket less in govt. run buses.
22) If possible for short distance, even I don't bother to buy a ticket.
23) Those who are failures/losers in life, nobody likes them or even acknowledge them.
24) Unless I am very sure of succeeding, I normally do not attempt anything.
25) Families these days are disintegrating because everybody considers himself to be very important and special.
26) I am myself quite egoistic.
27) Most of the bosses these days are insensitive.
28) Sometimes, I can be very harsh and insensitive to people.
29) I do not understand how some people can own so much money. Must be ill gotten or blood money.
30) I will do anything to have all that money to splurge on a lavish life style.
How to do the scoring:
For every 'True' response, assign yourself (-1) & for every 'False' response, give yourself (+1). The scoring range will be from (-30) to +30)
Interpretation:
(-30) to (-10): Very negative thinking. You esteem neither the people around you nor yourself. You'll find it difficult to get along with people. Your own commitment to living a positive life is doubtful.
(-10) To (+10): Mixed you are positive thinker some times and on some issues but at times, you can be quite negative. You may go back to the questionnaire and sort out the responses into two categories; the ones pertaining to self and the ones pertaining to others. Then check your score to find out what are you negative about, self or others. Try to change the negative thinking, wherever you may locate it.
(+10) to (+30): Healthy positive thinking you have. Every 'false' response is an indication of positive thinking and everybody could always improve. Even if you have achieved an unlikely score of (+30)
Positive thinking has equal utility in professional life and personal life. Reason is that it fosters healthy and mutually nurturing relationships both at home and at work.
In the application of positive thinking, people make some common errors which lead to failure, disappointment and resentment. Those common errors are as follows.
Over-simplification: We start believing that because of our positive thinking everybody will start respecting us or supporting us. Such simpletons forget that not everybody practices positive thinking or appreciates it. This world is not so simple nor the people in it, are.
Over-reliance: Some people mistake positive thinking as a substitute for hard work and consistency of efforts. Unless thoughts are converted to concrete actions, the results will always be zero.
Total discounting: There are some extreme reactionaries who when faced with difficulty or failure, blame positive thinking for it and dump it forever. That is a terrible mistake, indeed.
Erratic application: It we are selective about when to apply positive thinking and when not, chances are it will never work. We cannot hope to succeed in life if we are positive on weekends and negative on weekdays.
More preaching, little practice: Majority of people (80% by Pareto’s principle) love to talk about positive thinking. Practicing, well, is quite cumbersome. Parents advise their children umpteen number of times to think positive but when their turn comes, they give excuses like “it’s not so practical in today's times."
Why preach, then?
Sources of positive thinking:
Although to think positively is a matter of personal choice and a conscious decision, there are some sources which help us in our decision making and then give us the wisdom, strength and encouragement to stay positive. These sources are;
a. People: When we stay in touch with positive people, the effect rubs off on us and thereafter, it’s a mutual co-operation society. Moreover, we need good people around us during the difficult phases of our lives because that is when it is very easy to fall back on our old, negative ways. That kind of relapse erases all the goodwill we might have had achieved so far.
b. Books: Books are our best teachers and every time we seek guidance from them, they are there with all their wisdom. All the world's greatest minds have been book-lovers and when their turn came, they also decided to conserve their own knowledge and wisdom by writing books for posterity. Consult the elders in your family or good teachers in the school to find out which books are worth reading. If you are lucky to have access to a well stocked library, befriend the librarian.
I have referred to just two of the greatest sources of positive thinking but all of us can search for other sources to inspire us.
The most important thing in life is what we learn and not where we learnt it from.
Good habits- Essence of good life:
Man is a creature of habits. We become what we repeatedly do. Thoughts transform into actions and repeated actions form a habit. This habit shapes the personality by which the world knows us and deals with us.
Following is a list of pointers for developing and practicing good, healthy habits;
a. Integrity: It’s about oneness of thought and action.
What we think is what we do and show. If we pretend to be different it will show up. Stephen Covey calls it 'inside-out' approach. He says if we cultivate a positive, healthy inner self, the outwards behaviour automatically adapts itself, to this inner core of personality and there is no contradiction in our thoughts and behaviour. It’s a common thing for people to be anxious about being 'found out' or 'caught red handed’ when they feel one way and act in another. Integrity entails a conscious endeavour to weed out ill-will, hatred, anger and other such negative feelings from our psyche so that we are at peace with ourselves and the world.
People who put on a facade and behave in different ways with different people, as a consequence, end up wasting a lot of their time in remembering and reconciling these fragmented parts of their outward personality.
Life-style
"Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."
It’s quite common to hear this. But what are even more common than this are people not practicing it. A life style is our habits concerning everyday routine and as we have already learnt before, we become what our habits are.
Work leisure & rest:
"All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy.”
Working hard is important but some people may work too hard and not take adequate rest needed by a tired body. Such people end up 'burning out' and 'crashing out.' Not only rest, we need to find enjoyment and relaxation in some spare time. Our hobbies would indicate whether we have a healthy, leisure period in our routine or not. Life without some form of enjoyment would be insipid and monotonous. So will be the person leading such a life.
Dietary habits: This issue has been discussed at length in the chapter on 'Personality development and grooming'. I would like to borrow a concept from 'Ayurveda'. In 'Ayurveda', food has been classified into three categories depending on the effect they produce on our body and mind.
'Tamsik' - Foods that induce very strong (sometime uncontrollable) passion which often leads to self-destructive behaviour.
'Rajsik'- Foods that provide high energy levels and promote action. But they may lack in influencing healthy, positive thinking. Excitement and energy inducing.
'Satwik'- Foods that not only provide healthy nourishment but also promote mental growth and evolution. Peace inducing.
Examples of the food varieties:
Tamsik: Very strong food, too much of non-vegetarian, stimulants and intoxicants (like drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc)
Rajsik: Rich, heavy food. Slow to digest. Would include sweets, non-veg. dishes, excess of cereals, lentils, vegetables etc. the portion size would be 'king's ‘feast!
Satwik: Simple, easily digestible food. The portion size should be small and the frequency of eating limited.
Natural food, with least amount of chemicals, toxins etc. are considered 'Satwik'. Clean water is also Satwik.
Working out: Again this has been given a detailed treatment in the chapter on 'Grooming…’ And I would like to sum up the whole thing with this quote;
“Body, when it is weak, it commands.
When it is strong, it obeys".
Reading: Reading exercises the mind and keeps it alert, agile and healthy. Our brain, when left unused for a very long time, becomes 'rusty', too. We have already discussed about our society becoming a 'knowledge' based society and people becoming 'knowledge workers (who use or process knowledge to create or produce something useful)’. Can someone hope to succeed in such a society without gathering knowledge from its best source, the books? The peril of not learning is the misfortune of existing at the lowest level of subsistence in an advanced society i.e. a manual worker. Take your choice.
Meditation: Mediation, also known as 'Dhyaan', has a spiritual significance in the sense that it silences our mind and imparts calmness and serenity. Meditation can be practiced daily to aid relaxation and peace of mind.
Technique for doing meditation:
Mediation can be done at any time but when done in the morning, the benefits accrue to us throughout the day.
The atmosphere needed for meditation should be quiet and peaceful with no disturbances or interruptions.
Select a place where you can lie down comfortably or sit with a comfortable back and armrest. Alternatively, you can lean against a wall and keep your hands in your lap. In short, be comfortable for meditation to work effectively.
Wear loose comfortable clothes. No shoes or chappals to be worn while doing meditation.
When you are settled comfortably and ensured that there will be no interruptions or disturbances, begin by concentrating on your breathing.
Take deep, long breaths and close your eyes. Continue taking deep breaths.
Now, turn your focus to your thinking. What are you thinking?
Do not block any thought because it is unpleasant and do not deliberately invite any thought because that will be pleasant.
Just let any and every thought flow freely in and out of our mind. Do not block any thought, do not invite any thought.
What happens thereafter will be for you to experience. If done properly, people tend to fall asleep for some time and when they wake up, they feel very peaceful and relaxed.
Harmony with nature:
Your might have heard of the phrase 'clockwork precision'. Something as precise as a clock! But where do the clocks derive their precisions from? From nature, of course! The movement of moon around earth and revolution of earth around the sun is so precise; our sense of time, days, weeks, fortnights, months, years, seasons is based on them entirely. In his book 'Perfect Health', Dr. Deepak Chopra writes that the nature has its own rhythm and it is up to us to follow it or fight it. Whenever human beings have tried to grow bigger than nature and fight it, nature has given them very painful lessons.
What do I mean by harmony with nature?
Harmony with nature would mean;
1. Respecting our biological clock and dividing our time judiciously between work, leisure and rest. No excesses.
2. Enjoying and protecting our natural heritage, the flora and the fauna et al.
3. Give priority to using natural and fresh products. Too much of chemicals can ruin our health.
4. Getting in close touch with Mother Nature on a regular basis. Morning walks, for example.
Apart from the set of good habits listed above; there are some very specific 'do's' & 'don'ts' for all success aspirants.
Do’s:
i. A man in known by the company he keeps. Stay in good company.
ii. Get your priorities straight. What is most important and what is not important. Then your career and life needs to be built around those priorities.
iii. Always plan your finances; Income, expenses and a regular habit of saving for the rainy day. Trust in God but carry your umbrella along.
iv. If you can help, you must help. And when you have received help remember it and be grateful for it. There is nothing more despicable than an ungrateful heart.
v. Have value and principles. Practice ethics. Success achieved otherwise is ephemeral.
“Right ends can never be achieved by wrong means.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
Don'ts
i. Indulge in conspicuous consumption. Never show off or boast of your riches. It creates jealousy, resentment and enemies.
ii. Worry. Worry saps our vitality and creativity. Nothing improves by worrying, anyway!
iii. Fear. If at all you have to fear, fear fear itself, famously said by Roosevelt. Cowards dies a thousand times, braves, only once. This world has always belonged to the braves even if the meek shall inherit it.
iv. Procrastinate. Postpone. Delay. If it has to be done then sooner, the better. Laziness in one of the biggest causes of failure.
v. Shirk from your duties and responsibilities. A shirker is never trusted. To be trusted is greater than to be loved.
vi. Antagonize people. Harsh words and deeds put off people and most of the time; they will be itching to get even. Sometimes, deadly wars are fought over minor insults. Be careful.
Personality assessment during selection interviews:
I have maintained throughout this book that personality plays a crucial role in the success (or failure) of an individual. How does the interviewer get an idea about the personality traits of an individual? The theory is very simple in principle. Behaviour, as we have learnt before, is a manifestation or reflection of our personality so the visible behaviour is considered to be an indication of personality. Interviewers create a situation where the behaviour of an individual can be on display. The observed traits are collected and an approximate 'personality profile' is drawn. Then depending on the various parameters of suitability, candidate is either selected or not selected. The next logical question would be, “isn't it possible to fake behaviour?” The answer is, not quite. We shall have an in-depth understanding of this issue when we cover the chapter on ‘Personality assessment and Psychological Testing’.
Personality typology:
Human civilization is full of stories about unique individuals and their remarkable feats and achievements. It was but natural for the others to get curious about the reasons behind an individual's success. An individual and his circumstances would be closely examined to get clues to their achievements. It was but obvious that personality was able to overcome even the most unfavorable of circumstance and hence the power of personality became an established fact. Various terms and phrases have been used to define an individual personality for clearer understanding and explanation. Given below is a list of some common typologies to define personality, behaviour, attitude etc.
A. Aggressive – Assertive –Submissive:
The assessment parameter here is the desire to protect one's own interest and the consideration for the rights, interests and feelings of others.
Aggressive – more concerned about protecting one's own interest.
One may get fiercely combative when feeling threatened.
Assertive – Kind enough not to push others in the pursuit of one' own rights but strong enough not to get pushed by others, either. It is the ideal personality for jobs involving team work.
Submissive – Too soft and timid, this person gets easily trodden over. Not really desirable. It is possible that sometimes, constant submissiveness may be compensated for by occasional bouts of extreme aggression or violence.
B. Active-Passive:
The parameter for assessment is the level of interest and involvement with activities around. What is also measured along with this is the degree of initiative.
Active: Interested in physical activities and mobility. Prefers to act rather than be acted upon. A high degree of initiative!
Passive: Interested in thinking and mental activities. Often, allows things to happen to them. May wait too long for their turn! Unsuitable for high risk and challenging leadership positions.
C. Social quotient (S.Q.)
Patterned upon the famous I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient), various tests are designed to test the candidate's social tendencies.
To put it simply, the interviewer tries to assess whether the candidate is people friendly or people shy. Since it has already been established that our success depends on people, the candidates exhibiting people shy behaviour will find only limited number of doors opening to welcome them. Whereas confident, easy going candidates are most welcome everywhere.
D. Emotional quotient (E.Q.)
An offshoot of social quotient, the assessment parameter is whether the candidate has the maturity to express emotions appropriately or not. People who are controlled by their mood swings, feelings, emotions are likely to resort to aggressive behaviour or succumb to submissive behaviour.
It’s obvious that people who have poor emotional management ability will also lack the social etiquette or skills. People with low E.Q. break relationships on a whim (when their mood overtakes them) and will be poor team players. As a leader, they will lack credibility.
E. Achievement motivation (drive):
“You can take a horse to the water
But can't make it drink".
It is impossible for someone to succeed if one does not want to.
This motivation or drive to succeed has to be strong enough to sustain efforts over a long haul. A weak drive is the reason why most of the people give up too soon. However, when this drive is in excess then it leads to a single-minded pursuit of success which is not very healthy. Such, persons can be ruthlessly competitive or hopeless 'workaholics'. It’s similar to a man enjoying the chase more than the kill. Success achieved thus does not fulfill the two criteria for true success – shared and enjoyable.
F. I'm ok-You're ok (positive vs. negative attitude):
"Attitude determines your altitude".
Our attitude regarding ourselves conveys to others whether we like and respect ourselves or not.
It we do not like or respect ourselves, then nobody will. Similarly, if we are not courteous and considerate to others, we cannot hope to be treated well either. Majority of us have a very high opinion of ourselves (I’m Ok) but hold others in very low esteem (You're not ok). This superiority complex will lead to conflicts and make our success a very tough task, indeed.
Myers – Briggs type indicator (MBTI):
Employers these days have become skeptical about judging the long term suitability of a candidate on the basis of rather superficial tools like personal interviews. Reason is that people have learnt to manipulate interviews and get selected by answering on expected lines. Most of the people these day have learnt to dress and speak well, making it very difficult to judge a candidate's true potential. As an answer to this dilemma, job market is increasingly using Psychometric tests to assess the true nature of an applicant. In fact, companies are using tailor-made psychometric tests to pick up the candidates most likely do fit into their organization’s culture and do well at a particular job position.
One such widely used tool is 'Myers-Briggs Type indicator (MBTI)" that assesses applicants on the four basic parameters and indicates their 'type'. This 'type' is compared with the predetermined 'type' specification and only when there is a substantial ‘overlap' between the two that the applicant is 'cleared' for further steps in the selection process.
M B T I
Parameter 1
Extraversion Introversion
(Affinity for people)
Parameter 2 Sensing Intuitive
(Information gathering)
Parameter 3 Thinking Feeling
(Information processing &
Decision making)
Parameter 4 Judging Perceiving
(Dealing with the
Outside environment)
The idea clutter:
The hunt for a handy success ‘pill’ carries on incessantly and the markets are flooded with material promising instant success, like the recipe of instant noodles, and I would not like the readers to be trapped in this idea clutter. What will work and what will not work, on that my perception is quite clear.
If it is not simple, it will not work. Nature’s principles, like nature itself, are simple. Intellectualization for the sake of appearing learned and expert merely confuses the reader. Personality theory and my interpretation of it are quite simple. Most of the things that we require to succeed are within our easy reach. The seeds of success are within us. Stephen Covey calls it 'self determinism'. I.e. we determine our own success and the extent of it. And it certainly isn’t easy.
Self-administered personality tests:
In this chapter, you have already administered yourself a test on 'positive thinking'. we are providing a few more tests to help you get an idea about your own personality. The tests are titled as follows.
(T- 1) Ach-Mot – measures achievement motivation (drive)
(T-2) SQ Analysis – measures Social Quotient (people affinity)
(T-3) E.I.Q. Test – measures Emotional Intelligence Quotient
(T-4) A.A.S. Profit – Discovers whether you are an aggressive type, assertive type or submissive type
(T.S) Pact & Deal – Measures your active –passive propensity.
Ach-mot (T-1)
For all the statements given below, indicate your preference by
(A) Always or almost always
(B) Sometimes
(C) Rarely or never
1. I have tried to come in the top 3 of my class
2. I try and win even if it is a harmless game of carom.
3. I Set very high goals for myself.
4. To avoid heavy rush in local trains, I shall catch the 6 am train even if it means that I have to get up at 4 in the morning.
5. I shall stay back for extra work if that gives me overtime payment, an extra promotion or even a pat at the back by the boss.
6. I carefully choose my clothes for all occasions.
7. I enjoy working hard, especially if I can see that the returns or gains would be handsome.
8. I feel it is okay to step on someone's head to climb higher in the life
9. When I was young people predicted I would have a great future.
10. I feel as if I am special and meant for bigger things in life.
11. I am very particular about keeping appointments, especially if it means meeting significant, powerful & influential people.
12. I keep thinking about my planning and preparing for future even during holidays and vacations.
13. I find it very difficult to sit idle for some time, doing nothing, thinking nothing.
14. I am always preoccupied with the kind of impression I leave on others.
15. Though I know it is not fair, I reserve special treatment for people who are rich successful and powerful.
16. Every assignment I take up, it seems as if I am being judged and therefore, I make it a point to do it extremely well.
17. When I think of my future I can see a great lifestyle plenty of money big houses, swank cars and a name in the society.
18. I prefer one big expensive gift to a number of smaller, rather inexpensive ones; while receiving as well as giving.
19. I find it difficult to strike a conversation over little things. I am only comfortable when the stakes are high.
20. I feel Harshad Mehta was perfectly justified when he exploited an imperfect system to make huge personal gains.
Scoring pattern:
Allot yourself marks as per the scheme given below.
(A)- Always or almost always - 2
(B) - Sometimes -1
(C) - Rarely or never - 0
The scoring range would be :
Minimum – Zero Maximum – 40 (20x2)
Interpretations:
0-10: Disinterested. Probably you suffer from a low self-esteem Do not wait for the Santa Claus to come and gift you success on a silver platter. In this world, there is no free lunch. We have to earn every ounce of the bread and butter on to our plate. Move on before it is too late.
10-20: Drifter. Just getting by and you could also be described as a fence-sitter. With a little more inspiration and self-motivation you could push yourself into the upper category i.e. 20-30. May be you need to change the company you are in and develop contacts with positive, sincere people.
20-30: Strong drive. Your appetite for winning and achieving is quite healthy. Combine this appetite with meticulous planning and rigorous practice and you'll undoubtedly emerge as a winner.
30-40: Ruthlessly competitive and obsessed with achieving success. Probably your guiding motto is “winning is not everything. It is the only thing.” Walk carefully because you might be rupturing a lot of relationships in your frantic race to the finishing line.
SQ Analysis (T-2)
1. Number of my good friends is
a. Lots.
b. Some
c. Very few (2-3)
2. I enjoy going to parties
a. Always
b. Selected ones
c. Hardly ever
3. I know the birthdays of
a. Many people
b. Important ones
c. Just the very near and dear ones
4. I go to my neighbor's house
a. Almost every other day
b. Once in a month
c. Only on social occasions
5. If there is a party to be organized in the college
a. I am in the committee
b. I give good suggestions & support
c. Go and attend it
6. During my Industrial training, I enjoyed working in
a. Front office
b. F & B/ House keeping
c. Kitchens
7. My love life so far has been quite
a. Eventful and interesting
b. Just so-so
c. Dry and barren
8. If I were asked to handle any one of the following three, would choose
a. Men (Personnel)
b. Money
c. Materials
9. For good company I prefer
a. A person of the opposite sex
b. A pet
c. Myself and my room
10. A job in the call centre would be interesting because
a. So many young people around
b. Good income
c. Unusual working hours
11. On every New Year, I receive
a. Bundles of cards
B. From some of my best friends and relatives
c. Only few relatives & one or two friends
12. Find mobile phones
a. Very handy to keep in touch
B. Useful for important issues
c. An interruption and show off
13. In Times of India, my favorite page is
a. The entertainment page
b. Front page
C. Editorials & Business world
14. In my home town, I know of
a. All good eating joints
b. Some of the best ones
c. Eating out is very expensive
15. I go to a party and my priority is to
a. To meet as many people as possible
b. Eat, drink, shake hands & leave
c. Make a good impression with my clothes and style
16. I find streakers in the cricket field (Note: streakers are the ones who run naked in the sporting or public arena to attract attention to some issue or to themselves.
a. A colorful and interesting event
b. A shocking incident
c. Some crazy attention-seeking gimmicks
17. Society has double standards, it is very demanding and it is also
a. Very supportive in hours of our greatest need
b. A necessary evil
c. Too complex to deal with & live with
18. Running a social organization (such as CRY) is
a. Very noble
b. Very tiring and it kills our private life
c. Another clever way to make black money into white
19. I think the voting in the elections is
a. Our responsibility
b. So difficult and time consuming
c. An utter waste of time
20. If given a choice, I would like to be the
a. Mayor of Mumbai
b. A rich Industrialist
c. A highly paid professional with Infosys
Scoring: Assign yourself marks on the following basis.
a- 3, b- 2 & C- 1,
Scoring range would be minimum 20 and maximum 60.
Interpretation:
20-30: You are not very social and it may be because you do not hold the people and the world in very high esteem. You avoid interactions and shy away from social activities.
30-45: You are an ambivert, sometimes introverted and sometimes extroverted. You need to search in your own mind if you hold some hard feelings against some of the people or issues. Remember the problem is not the bad traffic. The problem is that we get upset about it.
45-60: You definitely are high up in popularity charts because you accept the people and this world as they are. As you do not sit on judgment, people find you easy going and approachable. Keep it up!
E.I.Q. Test (T-3)
Indicate your choice of a response with a "Yes" or "No."
1. I think it is the weak people who cry.
2. If somebody is attacking me personally with uncharitable remarks about my character, I must respond strongly.
3. It is all right to shout at your colleagues/friends at times, especially when you are going through a tough time.
4. Changing my point of view during an argument would indicate that I am weak minded.
5. If I do not dominate, somebody else will
6. Aggressive people require aggressive handling; otherwise they will destroy everything.
7. After every failure, it is all right to feel depressed for some times.
8. Being moody is quite natural and almost impossible to avoid.
9. Those that are closest to us can inflict maximum pain with their actions and behaviours.
10. No matter how hard we try, Personal life and professional career do get mixed up and affect each other.
11. Being open to people makes us vulnerable.
12. To rebel against domineering parents or bosses is inevitable. You can only tolerate it for a while.
13. I do get angry when I see injustice being done.
14. We all must appear to be strong or otherwise people will take us for granted.
15. Outdoor sports like football and cricket help up in releasing a lot of our negative feelings in a constructive way.
16. If I am overlooked for a promotion and another of my less deserving colleague gets it, why shouldn’t I sulk?
17. Banging the table with your fists may indicate poor manners but it also proves your assertiveness.
18. If my best friend walks away with the girl we both were trying to gain the favour of, it is best that we part our ways.
19. If I propose to a girl and she refuses, it will be a huge embarrassment to face her again.
20. I go to a shop, which is crowded; I try and catch the attention of the sales attendant 3-4 times but fail. I should walk away and try some other shop.
21. I go to a party and spot a group that has been in my opposition camp at college. I should try and gather my own group to prevent being singled out by them.
22. I am walking on the street and I see two men staring at me. I should stare back.
23. I walk in to office and hear sniggers behind my back. I should immediately turn around and confront the culprits.
24. Being possessive of your girl friend is quite natural and justified.
25. In the cinema hall, I often undertake an elbow – wrestling match to occupy the more comfortable part of the armrest.
Scoring:
Assign yourself marks on the following basis:
Yes: (-1), No: (+1)
Scoring range = (-25) to (+25)
(-25) to (-10) = emotionally weak and immature.
You need to learn to control emotions and express it appropriately. You might find yourself getting angry or feeling exasperated a tad too soon and a bit too frequently. You might be rubbing a lot of people the wrong way and making enemies out of them
(-10) to (+10) = you do possess a certain control over your emotions but that may not be adequate to achieve thumping success.
Emotions are a necessary part of our make-up but learning to check it and expressing it in a socially acceptable manner is wisdom acquired over the ages. If everybody were to freely express their emotional outbursts, this world will become a chaotic mad house.
(+10) to (+25) = you are good at controlling emotions and seem to be a highly matured soul.
The lesson for you is slightly different. Emotions, when bottled up for too long, are known to cause physiological and psychological ailments. So, if you do get angry, give it a harmless outflow (e.g. workouts), and if you feel like crying sometimes, seek a private place and please do cry.
A.A.S. Profile (T-4)
1. If I am standing in a queue for railway ticket, and I see someone push ahead out of turn.
a. I shall tell him that what he is doing is unfair to others.
b. Tap him on his shoulder and tell him to join the queue.
c. I shall see if someone else objects and them I shall join him.
2. My younger brother wants to borrow my favorite dress for his college ending farewell party.
a. I shall lend it to him but with the condition that he returns it intact.
b. Offer him some other dress or else refuse bluntly.
c. Make him happy and let him have whatever he wants to.
3. An acquaintance has borrowed 200 rupees from me but has not returned even after a long time.
a. I shall politely tell him that if he returns my money back, I shall be thankful because I now need it.
b. Ask him in front of his family/colleagues/friends if he intends to ever give it back.
c. I shall wait; 200 is not a big amount.
4. While going to Delhi, I see someone sitting on my reserved seat in the train.
a. Show him my ticket and then ask him if it was indeed 19 of S-5
b. Tell him directly that it was my seat and he has to vacate it.
c. I shall somehow try to squeeze in. After all, we should be considerable to our fellow passengers.
5. I find that my neighbour has parked his car in front of my gate. I have to leave immediately for an appointment.
a. I walk up to his door, ring the bell and then inform his of my problem.
b. Yell out his son's name and then tell him to get the car off quickly
c. I shall catch a taxi, who knows what kind of problem he is to be in such a hurry.
6. On the road while at a high speed, somebody tries to overtake me from the left.
A. Put my left side indicators ON and honk horn 2-3 times to catch his attention
b. Take my car further left to block his path
c. Let him go. May it's an emergency situation out there
7. During a meeting, someone tries to dominate me in an argument and does so quite unpleasantly.
a. I shall tell him that his manner of speech is inappropriate under such circumstances.
b. Try to match him an eye for an eye; and don't let him get away with such nonsense.
c. Simply ignore his tone of voice. Focus on what he is saying.
8. You discover that your girlfriend/boy friend has been going out with your best friend without your knowledge.
a. You arrange for a meeting between all the three parties concerned and discuss the issue openly.
b. Call up your girl friend and tell her what a cheap rag she is. Refuse to talk to your best friend also.
c. Why get worked up? It may be just an innocent outing together.
9. Your parents have fixed a match for your, when you don't really approve of
a. Your take them out for a quiet dinner, try to find out their point of view but also explain why you don't wish to commit to this arrangement.
b. Tell your parents frankly that it is a very important decision in your life and you deserve to have final say in the matter.
c. Parents never mean ill will for their children. If this is what will make them happy, why not?
10. Your boss starts shouting at you in the middle of the office.
a. You keep quiet but find out why he is mad. Then later, when he is alone, tell him that such public humiliation will do no good to your morale or his goodwill among his subordinates.
a. Face up to him and tell him that he has no right to shout at his subordinate like that.
c. Boss is always right. He is right here again.
11. You go to your friend’s house for dinner and find that dishes are oily and spicy for your taste.
a. You take little helpings of the dishes; explain that because you are not accustomed to such lavish preparations, you would like to be careful.
b. You make it very clear that you do not enjoy such kind of food. You would prefer to have some curd-rice, instead.
c. Eat, drink (a lot of water), and be merry. Also, praise generously.
12. You have been overlooked for selection in a prestigious students' committee by your teachers
a. You go and speak to him and argue your case as to why you merit a selection. Prepare your presentation.
b. Openly announce in the cafeteria that all the sycophants have been compensated for their hard work.
c. Keep your cool and carry on with life. There would be many more such committees in life.
Scoring: Assign yourself marks on the following basis
(a)= 0, (b) = +1, (C)= -1,
Scoring range = (-12) to (+12)
Interpretation:
(+4) to) (+12) - aggressive type. You live dangerously. Remember what Mao said 'Those who live by the gun die by the gun'.
(+4) to (-4) – balanced and assertive type. You are strong but you are also considerate. You would be an ideal team player and also a great team leader.
(-4) to) (12) – You give up too easily and too much. You may believe in the spirit of sacrifice but relationships are two way traffic. Don't just keep on giving and losing. Start to claim you dues, even if it may seem very daunting and frightening in the beginning.
Pact & Deal (T-5)
Answer with (A) Yes, (B) Not always & (C) No.
1) I enjoy outdoor games more than indoor ones.
2) While standing in a queue, I chat up other people near me.
3) I prefer acting in a play rather than watching it.
4) In School/College, I took up a lot of responsibilities.
5) I love being where the action is.
6) I have to get out of my house in the evening. Staying home makes me feel left out and isolated.
7) While traveling I prefer companions.
8) Transacting in a Bank if so cool and exciting.
9) I approve of the idea of youngsters taking up summer jobs with newspapers to increase sales.
10) I have a large social circle of friends.
11) I am involved with social service organizations and I enjoy my work there.
12) Arranging parties are fun. Going in to them is even more fun.
13) I enjoy debates when a large number of people are witnessing/watching it.
14) I would die of boredom if I were left to work alone in a room.
15) I find crowded beaches/markers very exciting.
16) At home, I can enjoy the company of the friends of even other members of the family.
17) I have a huge collection of really ticklish jokes that I use at social gatherings and functions.
18) I wonder how some people can spend their whole day with a book.
19) I think I would enjoy trekking with a group of foreigners.
20) I am at my best during marriages in the family.
21) I can listen to the music for hours alone in my room.
22) I need to be alone if I have to think over important issues. I find advices very distracting.
23) The idea of traveling to an unknown place makes me quite anxious.
24) I hate asking for directions even when I have been lost in that area for last one hour.
25) I find shopping quite taxing. Haggling with shrewd shopkeepers is not really my cup of tea.
26) One day I would build a quite costly cottage for myself on a picturesque riverside where I can have birds and fish for company.
27) Even though I have the idea of killing a fish. I find sitting on the banks of a lake in the morning with a fishing rod in hand, a very romantic idea.
28) My idea of an enjoyable evening is a quiet dinner with selected friends in an exclusive restaurant or even at home.
29) I enjoy a drive in the back seat of a car; sitting by the window and watching the world go by.
30) I think that authors have best of the careers. Write a book in the privacy of your study, and then enjoy the royalty cheques every month.
31) Even though I enjoy sitting with my friends in my room for some time, after a while I long to be left alone.
32) Really intelligent people have very few friends.
33) I don't think any relationship can be sustained forever. Sooner or later, cracks will appear.
34) I don't really enjoy going to other people's house because I fear I might be intruding or being a burden to them.
35) It is better to have a safe, quite and comparatively low salary job than to have a tension filled, high salary job.
36) The most difficult part of a Manager's job is to deal with so many people.
37) I would love to own a restaurant, but only if could be sure that I shall get mostly decent crowd.
38) Collecting stamps and coins is a wonderful hobby.
39) I become very stiff every time I have to go up on stage and face a large gathering. I just wish to run back as soon as I could.
40) Between fame and money, I shall choose money.
This Questionnaire has been divided into two parts for the purpose of accuracy and eliciting spontaneous, natural responses.
Scoring scheme:
For the first 20 question, assign yourself marks on the following basis:
Yes = 2, Not always =1, No=0,
Yes = 2, Not always =1, No=0,
Range- 0 to 40.
For the questions from 21 to 40, assign yourself marks on the following basis:
Yes = 0, Not always=1, No=2
Range =0 to 40
Total range entire questionnaire = 0 to 80
Interpretations:
0-20: Inert; highly passive. You have built a shell around you and never venture out. You may love to day dream and fantasize but only doing that. You are too much dependent upon circumstances and let things just happen.
20-40: Passive –You would be aloof and mostly doing activities in the privacy of your own house and your own company. Open the windows of your life to let in some fresh breeze. Reach out to people and take initiative.
40-60: Active. You do enjoy participating in team activities and take initiative sometimes. You also would have a fairly large circle of friends and range of interest. You do not like to be at the mercy of other people or circumstances and actively seek to control the events in your life.
60-80: Alert and very Active. You are an out and out outdoors man and you would be one of the most kinetically charged members of your community. You love to get into leadership roles and enjoy handling challenges. But maybe you need to take some time out for yourself to reflect on your life and plan carefully. Sometimes, people confuse too much motion with action and too much action with achievement.
Summary:
The explicit purpose of this section of the blog has been to facilitate career planning of the general kind. If it also serves some other purpose I will be more than happy. When you understand the fundamental principles behind 'personality theory'' it becomes obvious that there is no big 'secret' as such behind outstanding success.
Gathering knowledge incessantly, adding to the skill set continuously and developing mutually supportive relationships are some of the fundamental principles on which true success is built.
I have tried to develop a succinct description of a successful personality. Here it is;
P- Presentable as an Ambassador
E- Emotionally mature
R- Rigorously hard worker
S- Social and friendly (well mannered)
O- Originality and creativity
N- Nurtures relationships
A- Assertive (Neither aggressive nor submissive)
L- Learned (knowledge & skills)
I - Intelligence (with common sense)
T- Trustworthy
Y- Yahoos! (Enjoy life)
It might seem like a tall order and I am not going to deceive you by saying "No, it isn't". It definitely is. But it success was so easily achieved, wouldn't everyone be successful. And if the castle of your dreams seems too far off today remember that the longest of journey begins with the first step. When I started writing this blog (as a book originally), it seemed like such a far-fetched idea. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to finish this book or if it would ever get published. And here we are. You are reading my book. On my long journey, my source of inspiration was these words of Abraham Lincoln.
“I may be a slow walker but
I never walk backwards".
So, get going and keep walking! Good Luck!
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