Succeeding in competitive Group Discussion

Group Discussion

Orientation: Success in life, personally as well as professionally, is all about making a good impression on people around us. Success is sustained when the good impression continues. Good impression, carry no illusions about this, is created by good deeds and behaviour. Whether it’s to choose a candidate for the job, deciding on a life partner or selecting a business partner, the impression is what really matters. This chapter deals with making the right impression during the GD stage of the selection process. One thing which we need to understand at the very outset of this section is that all human decision-making is a very complex process and it cannot be made into a set formula. It is this uncertainly, and subjectivity which lends this topic an aura of challenge and excitement. We are all learners here and let no one fool you that he or she is a master in the subject. It is possible to calculate the probability of an event mathematically but predicting with certainty? I doubt if anyone is going to bet on that.

Introduction: Group discussion is a screening tool used by the selectors. Today, with improving access to higher studies, more and more qualified manpower is added to the existing workforce every year. As the talent pool increases the head hunters also have a wider range of choice available to them and naturally they want to pick only the best of the lot. Hence, selection process in installed with filtering mechanism at each successive stage that screens the good and allows only the better. This screening goes on till presumably the best of the lot remain. The implications of a selection process with inbuilt screening mechanism are the following.

·       Just being good is not enough. We have to be the best in what we do.

·       We will have to approach each stage with a 'do-or-die’ attitude.

·       The range of inputs for achieving success keeps expanding every year.

·       Access to knowledge is crucial to winning and succeeding. If you don't know it, how can you handle it?

Assessment Principle: The behaviour and attitude exhibited by a candidate during the group discussion is an indication of his or her future behaviour and attitude in the organization. As the group discussion takes place 'live', the possibility of an artificial behaviour is ruled out. Moreover, every participant in the Group Discussion is competing to win and this situation is a real-world-in- miniature form. The candidate who excels here can also be expected to excel in the real world outside.

     We could view this principle from another angle, the angle of risk. If a candidate wins, he stands to gain much but if he does not win, he does not lose anything as such. It’s a risk- free environment.

 If the candidate does not show an appetite for fight in such a risk free position, he will never rise to face a challenge when the stakes to win or lose will be much higher in real life later.

The risk factor in a job:

     In the chapter on 'Need for career planning' we discussed a term called 'occupational hazards'. The potential dangers or threats in a job are known as the occupational hazards. Higher the position, greater are the dangers. Apart from the dangers, each job also involves a degree of risk. This risk is about upsetting an individual or a group of individuals, as a consequence of some decision you may have to take from your position. We must take decisions in a job and not all our decisions will be universally acceptable or popular. Like in occupational hazards, the higher the job position greater is the risk factor. To give you an example, the riskiest job is that of the most powerful man on earth, the President of United States. So, the best jobs will only go to the man who can bear and live with the risks and dangers associated with a job. Do you want to assess what stuff you are made of?

Administering Group Discussions:

·       A small group (size 8-12) is selected at random and candidates are made to sit in a circle, facing each other. The setting could be boardroom style (with candidates sitting along an oblong or round table).

·       A topic, usually controversial and contentious, is given to the group.

·       After announcing the topic, the selector or the observer retires into the background. Unless an extra-ordinary event happens, the observer normally does not interfere with the group proceedings.

·       For ease of identification, candidates are allotted numbers sequentially. Candidates are then supposed to address each other by their respective numbers.

·       Candidates are closely observed on specific parameters and the performance is entered into a specially designed form.

·       The performance assessment could be on marks basis, point basis or grade basis.

·       The candidates who are able to achieve the minimum eligibility marks or grade are allowed to go on to the next stage of the selection process. The minimum cut off limit is decided by the company policy.  (A copy of the sample 'Performance Assessment Form' in reproduced for your reference here)

Sample Assessment Sheet:

Some important ideas and concepts on group discussion:

·       Group Dynamics

·       Needs Theory

·       Transactional Analysis

·       Personality Theory 

·       Theory 'X' & Theory 'Y'

·       Power of non-verbal communication

·       Pygmalion effect

·        

What is group dynamics?

This concept can be more useful if understood in a larger context. One of the most fundamental features of the human civilization process was the need for human beings to stay together in a group. I will not compare the merits and demerits of staying individually and staying in as a group member because they are quite obvious. The group was always more powerful and made survival much easier. The often quoted statement that “man is a social animal" is a reflection of this idea. This concept of inter-related, inter-dependent way of living was a new reality and rules of life also changed accordingly. When rules changed, the human behvaiour underwent metamorphosis and peculiarities emerged.

There was a marked distinction between the behaviour of a man when he was acting in an individual capacity and behaviour when acting in the capacity of a group member.

 This necessitated a detailed analysis of groups and the behaviour of people belonging to a group.

 The study of the interplay of forces within a group is called, 'Group Dynamics' and it falls under the broad purview of the subject called 'Social Science'. Group dynamics unveils the fascinating working of human mind in a group situation and provides the key to dealing with a group. Some of the key learning is given below. You should be able to co-relate these findings with the group discussion performance.

·       A group is a collection of people, who voluntarily come together, because everybody shares at least one common need. Being part of a larger group makes, or at least seems to make, fulfillment of that common need possible. 

·       The group for a certain period of time at least, behaves as a single entity.

·       The members belonging to a group have to abide by the group rules, norms or laws, even at the expense of personal comfort or gain.

·       People who do not obey the group rules or norms of behaviour, may be punished or wholly expelled from the group.

·       Group selects a leader and the most likely choice would be the one most capable of fulfilling the group needs. Frequently, it is either the strongest or wisest.

·       Even between the larger groups, smaller sub groups may emerge. The pattern of emergence is the same as for the larger group

·       Because of the group norms, there may be an apparent uniformity in the outward behaviour of the members. But inwardly, people retain their independence of thinking and decide for themselves. That’s how rebels are born.

·       Group norms are decided by majority consensus. Once established, then group leadership uses them to enforce discipline and obedience.

Let us see what inference we can draw from these ideas which will find application in a Group Discussion.

·       When GD commences, it’s just a collection of people, not a group.

·       A group will emerge slowly, when members start recognizing those with a similar purpose and views.

·       The group will rally around any individual who will seem most likely to guide the discussion successfully.

·       The leader will have to be strong enough to take a stand (trustworthy) and humble enough to seek opinions and consensus (respectable).

·       A leader can never impose his or her wishes on the group. His power is vested in his ability to garner consensus and that is best done delicately.

·       The moment a group feels that the leader is giving priority to personal interests at the expense of group interests, the group will overthrow the leader. You can't act selfish.

·       A leader should be prepared to face all kinds of unpredictable human behaviour and accommodate all sorts of demands.

·       It would be very easy to throw away all this responsibility in a huff but winners don't quit and quitters don't win.

·       The leader has to build a 'core' team of supporters who will stand by him during troublesome period.

Needs Theory: Simply put, 'Needs Theory' states that for all human beings the only motivation is the fulfillment of their own needs. To fulfill their needs, they will do anything. Without that motive, they are not going to even move an inch. Metaphorically speaking, 'Needs Theory' provides a very simple explanation for the leadership issue. People only follow, when they have a need and expect the leader to provide for their need. Leaders are therefore, providers and servers to their followers. And forget charisma! It may have entertainment value to attract large crowds but beyond that, nothing.

     How do we apply 'Needs Theory’?

Understanding and identifying the needs of one's followers is the greatest challenge for a leader and the other one is to reconcile these diverse, and sometimes conflicting, needs. Group Discussion is a sample piece cut from real life and doing well here would indicate success in real life later. And the paradox is that leadership is not an unmixed blessing. Sometimes, the leader has to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate prize. They get assassinated, lynched, jailed and even shamed. Therefore not everyone steps forward to carry the cross of leadership. Will you?

Transactional Analysis: Though the conclusions have already been given in the chapter on Transactional Analysis itself, we can re-write them in the context of 'Group Dynamics' & 'Needs Theory'

Every human being has an inherent hunger for strokes (recognition) and utilizing the time at hand. These are deep psychological needs and a leader has to understand it and provide for it. Positive strokes can be given in the form of encouragement and appreciation. By gently coaxing reluctant candidates and allowing everybody to speak for sometime at least, the leader fulfils the other great need.

The leader has to identity if somebody is indulging in a psychological game played by the losers. Then, prevent the game from unfolding by refusing to play and not giving the desired pay-off. One common game to watch out for is 'kick me'. Someone may deliberately invite scolding from group members. 

The leader has to think about everybody's success and set an example by relating honestly and intimately with the rest of the group members. That would encourage a healthy environment

Personality Theory: Already discussed at great length. Some reminders and tips for the Group Discussion.

·       Think positive.

·       Act positive

·       Do unto others that you may want others to do unto you.

·       Be assertive.

·       Remember emotional intelligence.

Theory 'X' & Theory ‘Y’: The man behind this idea is Douglas McGregor. He said managers can be classified into two broad categories. Managers who believe in 'theory 'x' think that the subordinates need constant direction and control. In theory Y people are assumed to enjoy work and external control is not necessary. Manager's assumptions about their subordinates shape their behaviour.

People always behave the way you expect them to.

In Group Discussion, this idea has a profound impact. People who try to unnecessarily control others’ behaviour by sending dominating injunctions (assuming that others are stupid and need to be controlled) soon become unpopular. Whereas these who show respect to others' ability for a self controlled, responsible behaviour earn a lot of respect and win this round hands down. (Underestimating others is a negative stroke)

Power Of Non-Verbal Communication: If you would like to think that the words we speak have power, please note that the real power lies in the non-verbal elements. The chart given in the previous section of the results of Professor Mehrabian's study, just shows the relative importance of each component in our communication.

What this chart implies is that 93% of the information is passed and obtained through non-verbal channels. Let's take a look at the two elements of non-verbal communication-vocal & visual.

Vocal Communication (conveys 38% of the meaning and information)

     Even if we were to hear with our eyes closed, we would easily be able to identify who the voice belongs to, if it were that of a familiar person. The characteristics of our voice vary on the following parameters. We need to assimilate the positives and discard the negatives, if we want to effectively utilize this channel to our best advantage.

·       Variety- ups & downs, high tone and low tone. The variety in our voice creates interest and attention. Speaking in a boring monotone will put people off to boredom.

·       Voice quality– clear, articulate sound. Don’t sound nasal (Speaking through   nose/or breathy) (too much air being released while speaking)

·       Speed – Neither too fast, nor too slow. If it’s too fast, the other person gets bored. Talking very slowly also may seem patronizing and offend people.

·       Loudness- Loud enough to be heard over the surrounding noise. Too loud and it annoys people. Too soft and it makes the other person impatient.

·       Vocalized Pauses- Unnecessary sounds that speaker makes in between the sentences such as 'umm', "you know", 'uh', 'er',’ like' etc. It’s a dead giveaway that the speaker is not sure of himself.

Visual Communication – (conveys 44% of the message and impression)

     Of all the senses, eyes are the most powerful. What we see leaves the most lasting impression and memory. The visual communication has the following elements.

·       Maintaining eye contact: The most powerful form of non-verbal communication, eye contact is the recognition and importance given to the other person. Not making eye contact could indicate disinterest, lying, lack of confidence or downright rudeness. For at least 90% of the time you are talking maintain eye contact.

·       Posture: The way we hold our body and carry our body while talking sends clear signals. This is covered in greater detail in the section on body language.

·       Gestures: There is a world of meaning in our bodily gestures. Much of it has already been covered in the chapter on body language. 

·       Facial expressions: It is natural for our emotions to show up on our face. People read our face to understand our attitude. And if the words don't match the facial expression, people believe the facial expressions. Speaking with no facial expression in not natural and makes the listener suspicious and uncomfortable.

Pygmalion Effect:

There is a little story behind this.

 There was a king named Pygmalion. He was rejecting every marriage proposal because he did not like any of the girls. Exasperated with the imperfection in the living beauties, he went on to sculpt a statue of his dream woman in marble stone. When the statue was finished it turned out to be so lovely, so beautiful that the king fell in love with his creation. The legend has it that the story had a happy ending after all when Gods decided to grant the gift of life to the statue. It was made possible by king's unfathomable love and fervent prayers sent to the Gods.

     From this story has been derived the idea of 'Pygmalion Effect'. It is, in essence, a belief that with constant love and attention, it is possible to transform any person's life. People blossom in a caring and nurturing environment. It may sound a bit philosophical but love conquers all, the easy way. Every human being is a bundle of limitless potentialities. A little attention gives doses of confidence and lo! A star is born. We need to remember this in the Group Discussion when we see a reticent, nervous candidate.  We have to gently draw them out by words of appreciation and encouragement. You can expect a die-hard, loyal member to join your 'core' team of winners as a reward for such efforts.

Criteria for evaluation of performances:

     Human decision-making process is very complex and intricate. Every individual carries his own prejudices, biases and propensity. Each selector has his own eccentrcities. Therefore, who finally gets selected in a Group Discussion will always be subject to the selector's whims & fancies. But we can understand some stated as well as some unstated criteria against which a candidate gets measured up and thereby, increase our probability of success.

 The different criterions are given under.

·       Appearance

·       Speech

·       Language & diction

·       Voice quality

·       Quality of content

·       Logic & reasoning ability

·       Analytical ability

·       Co-operation

·       Co-ordination and self-control

·       Body language

·       Horse – sense (Balanced opinion)

·       Sense of decorum, Dignity  

·       Emotional intelligence

·       Initiative and responsibility

·       Drive & motivation

·       Leadership potential.

There could be more but these points do cover almost all the bases. Let us take a brief look at each of these points to consolidate our grasp on the subject.

·       Appearance: There is a direct co-relation between looking good and being successful. It is so important; an entire chapter has been devoted to it.

·       Speech: It appearance is the product; speech is its sales and marketing. Hallmark of all successful personalities is clear, smooth and forceful speech.

·       Language & Diction: Superior language is a sign of superior intelligence. Diction is all about the correct usage of words in a given context.

·       Voice Quality: There are dozens of people who have based their career on their voice quality alone and have been very successful at it. Ameen Sayani, Harsha Bhogle, Harish Bhimani and even Amitabh Bachchan are all known examples.

·       Logic & Reasoning Ability: There are two ways of influencing people; an appeal to their emotions or an appeal to their reason. Not everybody is driven by their emotions but everybody understands and accepts the language of reason and logic. Use it to carry the group along.

·       Quality of Content: We have covered form so far, this is the substance. Everything else will amount to nothing if what you say is not impressive. You can improve the quality of content by incessantly gathering information.

·       Analytical Ability: It is the ability to penetrate to the root of an issue, uncover the primary causes for it and arriving at the most effective solutions or suggestions. It requires an eye for detail, patience and independent thinking.

·       Co-Operation: Man's greatest achievements and grandest creations are by virtue of mutual co-operation. If you dream big, learn to co-operate. With people "quid pro quo', the give and take, never fails.  

·       Co-Ordination & self-control: Everybody is so different and dissimilar in nature that only few have the psychology to tolerate all kinds of unpredictable behaviour and nature. Still fewer are those who can get along with all and still succeed in hammering out a consensus, accommodating contradictory views and demands.

·       Body Language: Our body transmits powerful signals that catch the onlooker’s attention and convey our feelings, emotions, attitude etc in very clear-cut terms. It’s a weapon that is double edged. Used appropriately, it is advantageous. So many first impressions are ruined by poor body language. It is discussed in detail elsewhere in the blog.

·       Horse-sense (balanced opinion): People with extreme views evoke extreme feelings in others whereas those with a balanced view are trusted, respected and followed. Success in Group Discussion means an ability to consider an issue from all possible angles and giving a carefully thought out opinion.

·       Sense of decorum & dignity: In polite society there are some norms of behaviour which civilized members are expected to obey. These unwritten rules control social interaction and without them, utter chaos would prevail. In Group Discussion, participants are expected to conduct themselves with dignify and maintain the decorum of formal occasions.

·       Emotional intelligence: (Already covered in the chapter on 'Personality Theory') Group Discussion generates a lot of emotions, especially because people are competing, if not actually fighting, with each other. Being able to deal with one's own emotions is the first priority and then tackling other people's emotions and emotional needs is the next.

·       Initiative and Responsibility: True sign of a good leader is his willingness to step forward to shoulder responsibility and the sign of a truly great leader is his willingness to continue carrying the responsibility.

·       Drive and Motivation: Unless someone wishes to succeed he or she will not make efforts to succeed. The fountain of motivation springs within human mind. When others motivate us, it is called inspiration but according to Edison "Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration". So the really important thing is our own motivation to perspire so much and for so long.

·       Leadership potential: Leadership, as we have already learnt, is earned by selflessly serving others. Stephen Covey uses a term Principle centered Leadership' in '7 Habits...This combines the ideas of “Need Theory” with “Personality Theory”. To summarize, a leader is good at heart and does good to others, willingly and voluntarily.

Variations to Group Discussion:

·       Candidate may be given a case (written text) and then asked to come up with a group suggestion or solution.

·       Candidate may be provided a task with hypothetical situations, maps, data, figures etc. The group then has to plan how they shall execute that task.

·       Another variation is leading discussion. The observer acts as a coordinator and asks leading questions to individual member. It’s a controlled Group Discussion and it is aimed at eliminating some of the negative features of a free flowing discussion.

Normally, group discussions do not have an appointed leader. But the selectors may choose someone at random to act as the leader of the group.

Preparing For Group Discussion:

·       Keep track of current affairs. Only an aware person can be expected to efficiently deal with the problems arising from the environment, external and internal.

·       Gather information. An informed person judges better, decides better and acts better.

·       Learn to process the information you gather. Information has to be put side by side, and the relationship between various pieces of information has to be established. Only then can we understand it in its totality and draw meaningful conclusions from it. The first part is analysis (understanding each information well) and the second part is synthesis (relating information with each other to derive meaningful conclusions) 

·       Participate in mock sessions. Practice makes a man perfect. These mock sessions help you overcome the initial jitters and provide you with the platform to hone your skills to perfection.

·       Record these sessions on a handycam or a web camera. You’ll be astonished by watching the recording of your own performance. It allows you to detect your flaws so that gradually you can improve upon them.

·       Record your voice. Find vocal and pronunciation flaws and eliminate them.

·       Observe discussions on TV programs. You can pick up the required style, manners and attitude by simply watching the participants and assessing their impact on you.

·       There are debates telecast on TV where prominent personalities face each other with opposing views, ideas and arguments. Watch what is working to whose advantage. Then choose a role model who you think is most effective. You can copy their style initially and gradually, your independent style would emerge.

·       Make it a habit of reading Editorial column of the newspapers. Its information processing on display and some of the country's finest brains write them. It will teach you to dispassionately process information and logically draw conclusions. The arguments used in this column can also be used by you during Group Discussion. It is also possible that the same topic may be given to your group for discussion and them you'll be well prepared.

·       Participate in family discussions. Often, family discussions have emotional undertones and by observing and participating in emotionally charged discussions, you can learn to express your own emotions appropriately and deal suitably with other people's emotions. You'll also see how emotions make a person feel and act self-righteously and why it is so difficult to handle them.

·       Watch the telecast of parliamentary debates, all the negative press about them notwithstanding. Some of the country's best brains and finest orators are found in the parliament and there is a lot we can learn from them. It will also help you to understand the meaning and purpose of the word "unparliamentarily". You'll also come across a lot of traditional values inherent in parliamentary debates and exchanges.

·       Many magazines and newspapers publish case studies and the comments of some experts. Read these case studies; prepare your own suggestions and views. Then compare notes with the expert's opinions. It will promote independent thinking and thinking on your feet.

·       If possible read magazines and newspapers of other countries. It will open up your mind and broaden the scope of your thinking. You'll see that often, the views and opinions differ from country to country and most of them would appear to be sound, logical and sensible, yet a touch one-sided. Your exposure to ideas from all corners of the world will help you develop a more balanced worldview.

·       Write for the newspapers "Reader’s Opinion column on various issues. If they are printed, it’s proof that your views are acceptable and 'parliamentary'. Try sending very radical, one side views and chances are, the newspaper will either edit it or censor it out altogether.

·       On the basis of your reading, prepare a list of probable topics. Use it for your mock sessions. There is a sample list of topics enclosed at the end of this chapter. (Annexure 1)

·       Learn quotes and start to use them during mock sessions. They leave a lot of impact on the listeners and lend weight and credibility to your arguments during Group Discussion. A sample list is enclosed at the end of this chapter. (Annexure 2)

·       Learn to use proverbs, saying and idioms. They are succinct, powerful and make speeches attractive and interesting. A sample list is enclosed (Annexure 3)

Strategies for Group Discussion:

Opening the discussion:

·       Taking the initiative to be the first speaker guarantees that you'll get noticed. It conveys a sense of self-belief and the desire to win.

·       Take some time to establish a procedure for the whole group, if you can. Jumping up to speak first on topic may seem like selfish and narrow-minded approach.

·       In case you are not sure about your grasp on the subject, do not take the risk of speaking first. If you reveal your ignorance too soon, you go out of contention.

·       A safe approach would be to invite someone else to open the discussion. That will create the right ambience for a participative, co-operative discussion.

·       Once you start speaking first present your best idea, and then make sure to finish it meaningfully. Don't let interruptions or objections to distract your concentration.

·       Remember that by starting the discussion, you would come across the same risks and opportunities that all pioneers do. You could get killed or make a killing. 

o   "Early bird gets the first worm"

o   "Early worm gets eaten first.

Time Management:

·       By dividing the total allotted time by the number of candidates, you should get a fair idea how much time is at your disposal.

·       The first opportunity you get, present the complete idea you might have. You may not get a second chance, perhaps.

·       Keep registering your presence by encouraging, appreciating others and asking some questions.

·       Do make an effort to speak towards the closing stages of the discussion.

·       The bottom-line is if your share of speaking time comes to 2 minutes, utilize it to the hilt. Or somebody else will.

Breaking the ice:

Initially, people are defensive, diffident and suspicious because of unfamiliarity with each other. If you take the trouble of gently drawing people out of this uncomfortable situation, you become an obvious choice for the leader's role.

·       A warm smile and gentle voice melts the ice, if not break it.

·       Desist from making personal comments because the sudden attention may be unsettling for people.

·       Traditionally, the conversations begin by discussing about the weather or the situation people are in.

·       Do not crack jokes or disparage anyone. Many people find it overconfident and nasty.

·       Seeking groups consent to start the discussion would be the best approach. Nobody minds that.

Effective Listening:

 Everyone needs to be heard. People who would listen attentively to others provide psychological and emotional relief to the speakers. Listening is a tool used by intelligent leaders to earn good will and build personal rapport among people. To be able to use this marvelous tool, you need to understand it and know how to use it.

 Stages in listening process:

·       Paying complete, undivided attention

·       Understanding the meaning properly

·       Evaluating the effect of the message

·       Deciding upon an appropriate response

·       Remembering the details of the total process for future reference

How to be a good listener?

ü  Respond verbally: You words will tell the speaker whether you understand or not, taking interest or not. You can use the technique of paraphrasing i.e. repeating in your own words what you think the speaker has said.

ü  Show involvement non-verbally: We have already discussed about the power of non-verbal elements in communication. The verbal involvement has to be backed with non-verbal signals such as eye contact, facial expressions, and signs of approval, body pointing towards the speaker etc. You also need to observe the non-verbal signals from the speaker to find the hidden feeling behind ideas.

ü  Be mentally alert: Keep taking mental notes of what is being said and keep looking for the central idea or theme. Make a mental summary of the whole speech. Look for any gaps in information and asks questions for clarification.

ü  Ensure retention: We are able to retain only 25% of what we hear so to make sure that your memory doesn’t fail you, take the following steps

§  Take notes, Write down the important information.

§  To retain there are two other methods; repeat or report. When you repeat the information to yourself or to another person, it stays in your memory longer.

ü  Do not interrupt: Interrupting is a soft insult and undermines the confidence of the speaker.  Effective listening is recognizing the other person's importance or sense of self-worth. Do not be obsessed with your self- importance.

ü  Carry no prejudices or pre-conceived notions:        Do not allow yourself to guess what point the speaker in going to make. Prejudices and pre-conceived notions tend to color one's judgment and prevent an honest, open communication.

ü  Stop rehearsing your response: If you are thinking of what you are going to say when the speaker finishes, then you are not listening at all. Merely pretending to listen

ü  Watch your emotions: Many of the things that we may hear will anger us, disappoint us or sadden us. The things that we are emotionally sensitive to are called our emotional triggers. An effective listener will focus on the issues, not on the emotions. Uncontrolled emotions lead to uncontrollable situations. You can make a list of your own emotional triggers and watch out against them. Here are some samples that bother people.

·       Arrogant behaviour and attitude

·       Cry baby types

·       Bad English

·       Racial remarks

·       Foul language

·       Sexist remarks

·       Dominating types

·       Rude or rough treatment

·       Liars

·       Patronizing, talking-at people

·       People who try to act too familiar

·       Selfish attitude

 Taking a stand: Majority of topics given during competitive group discussions are controversial in nature. Be very careful before you take a stand and don't be frivolous about it. People who are flippant (whose views keep changing every now and then) are never taken seriously. In so far as possible give balanced and mature views. But it is my personal belief that one shouldn't be too rigid about one's opinions, either. Somewhere I read on a wall poster, "There are at least three sides in any controversy; yours, mine, and the right one.”

Always keep a margin of flexibility to accommodate divergent views.

 Use of humour: Humour has great entertainment value and can be used to spice up speech and to ease the tension usually associated with competitive group discussions. But the humor used should be of safe, wholesome kind or it might deliver only nuisance value. Audience generally is very receptive to and appreciative of self-deprecating (making fun of oneself) humour by the speaker. However, by no means should you demean yourself.

  Handling nervousness: Nervousness is a natural bodily response to the anticipated stressful or fearful situations in the mind. All successful performers complain of anxiety and nervousness before their big shows but they are successful because they have learnt to use it, not fight it. Nervousness is nothing but nervous energy. If you channelize it into your performance in the group discussion, you will come out a winner. Here are some common tips to tackle your jangling nerves;

·       Occupy your mind in some useful activity.

·       Take deep breaths for relaxing your mind.

·       Avoid stimulants of all kind. You don't need them with so much excess energy already lying in your body.

·       Plan your strategy for the group discussion.

·       Get to know other participants. If you make friends now, they will become allies during group discussion.

·       Read the day’s newspaper, especially the editorials & headlines.

 Dealing with topics relating to taboo subjects:

     All societies have their own unique cultures, and each culture has its peculiar characteristics. Cultures can be open or closed, liberal or conservative, democratic or autocratic, tolerant or intolerant. Every culture would have its taboos, things that are not discussed or talked about in public space. Some of the taboo subjects are sex and sexuality, religious dogmas, racial supremacy, casteism, political doctrines prescribing violence etc. In case you happen to get a topic which touches any of such taboo subjects be doubly cautious before pronouncing your views. I have always felt that because individuals retain their independent thinking while apparently bowing down to the societal (group) pressures for conformity, it leads to dual or double norms and standards. One is internal and the other is expressed openly in public. Societies have always loved to inflict brutality on non-conformists so in a group discussion, keep your views on conservative, orthodox side. Speak what you feel others would like to hear. You may call it manipulation, if you like, but it’s essential to survival.

Registering in the observer's mind space:

     Giant manufacturing companies pay out billions of dollars to the advertising industry in order to register their products in the consumer mind space. Consumers buy those products that they remember and know about. A group discussion can be compared to the market place where candidates are the products and the observer is the buyer. People remember information on two bases.      

·       Primacy: What was the first impression?

·       Recency: What was the last (recent) impression?

So, in a group discussion, the opening and closing stages are the time when you can speak and get yourself noticed and be firmly established in the observer’s memory. Similarly, of your entire speech, the opening and closing lines are remembered the most.

Out-Of-Box Thinking:

In this world, nothing moves without energy.

 In the human mind space, nothing moves without an idea.

 In the group discussion, when you are talking, you are giving out an idea. This idea, if already familiar to the listener will create redundancy. Redundancy is repetition of information and hence boring to the listener. People will take interest only if they are uncertain about information. What they already know doesn't interest them. Based on this premise, there are two ways to create interest.

·       Present new ideas

·       Present old ideas in a new way

     Both of this requires unconventional thinking. Conventional thinking is logical thinking. Our human mind has been trained (conditioned) to think logically. The authority on thinking, especially creative thinking, Edward de Bono, the author of "Lateral Thinking", suggests that to get new ideas, we have to think out-of-box ( beyond conventional, logical thinking). Computers function logically where they can only process the available information, the information being supplied in binary digits of 0 & 1 which are no and yes answers to the availability of particular information. It is incapable of creating any new idea of its own. Edward de Bono suggests three techniques for "Lateral Thinking"

·       Generation of alternatives

·       Challenging assumptions

·       Random stimulation

Generation of Alternatives:  How many ways do you know of doing a thing? You present knowledge, skills; attitude defines the box within which you are thinking. Look for more alternatives, they are always there.

Challenging Assumptions: Our assumptions regarding a problem or situation limit our ability to find answers. When we question those very underlying assumption, we get a new line of thinking.

Random Stimulation: It is looking for solutions from all kinds of sources even the most unlikely ones. It is about relating two most unlikely things ad trying to trace similarities. Your answers can come from anywhere, provided you are on the lookout all the time.

 Concluding the discussion: The successful culmination of a discussion should lead to some kind of consensus, no matter how conflicting the competing views were initially. Anyone concluding the discussing is expected to summarize the entire discussion and draw some kind of common opinion or consensus from it that would be acceptable to the whole group. One should refrain from repeating or re-phrasing one's own views as conclusions. Here are some hints for presenting the conclusion of a Group Discussion.

- Pick up major lines of argument, the main view points.

- Highlight the key points of each line of thought.

- Time permitting, credit the points to respective speakers.

- Discuss the merits and demerits in the major view points

- Draw an inference (as best as you can) that you think accommodates the major view points.

- Thank the observer and the fellow participants.

N.S.: Unless you listen attentively to the entire discussion, you will not be able to present an effective conclusion.

The Common Pitfalls Of Group Discussion:

     "Common people learn from their own mistakes.

     Wise people learn from others’ mistakes.

     Fools never learn from anyone’s mistakes."

     Here are some common mistakes that people commit on their way to rejection.

·       Rushing to open the discussion without enough material and then firing blanks i.e. repeating same points over and over again.

·       Being too quick to take a stand on the topic and them not being able to defend it against counter arguments!

·       Speaking too much! It’s a disease called verbal diaorrhea.

·       Ordering or bossing others around

·       Not maintaining eye contact with everyone in the group.

·       Rocking on the chair. Tells the observer your wish to escape from the challenge.

·       Not talking at all. Or talking too little. It’s giving a walk-over to your opponents.

·       Casual sitting posture. The slouch reveals the quality of "backbone"

·       Getting into an argument. A discussion is an exchange of knowledge. An argument is an exchange of ignorance.

·       Losing temper 

·       Being pushed around. Not being firm.

·       Behaving irresponsibly. Sniggering and indulging in side talks.

·       Using slangs or unparliamentarily language.

·       Disparaging the opposite sex. Making sexually explicit or coloured remarks.

·       Resorting to sweeping generalization and then admitting to exceptions.

Probable difficult situations and suggested approach:

Situation 1: not able to comprehend the topic

     Ask for a clarification or explanation from the co-coordinator. If not, then wait for the discussion to begin and you will get the drift. Many people wrongly believe that by asking for a clarification they would reveal their ignorance. It is the courageous who accept that they do not know and ask pertinent questions.

Situation 2: do not know much about the topic

     Obviously, you'll never be the first speaker. Listen carefully to other participants and takes note. Then analyze what you've heard and give your views briefly. Do not wait for too long to speak.

Situation 3: not getting a chance to speak:

     Observe carefully the current speaker and just when you believe he is about to finish speaking, barge in with a compliment "well said, friend". He wouldn't mind letting you carry on from there. Keep creating allies in the group by giving similar words of appreciation and recognizing their contribution. Just being anxious to speak will mar your performance.

Situation 4: abrupt interruption in the middle of your speech

     Say something like 'Excuse me but I haven't finished. Do you mind allowing me to complete'. Don't get angry. Do not become silent, either. Remember (Aggressive-Assertive-Submissive) profile?

Situation 5: chaos during group discussion

     Do not complicate the situation further by trying to shout over the din. You'll have to tackle people individually, starting with your two immediate neighbors. Draw their attention to you and say something like. "At this rate we all are going to end up as loser. Let us not allow this to happen". If you try to assume leadership, it will not work. It has to be earned slowly, by winning other's confidence.

Situation 6: a 'cartel' (sub-group) dominating the proceedings

     You need an army to fight an army, a team to beat another team. It is the toughest acid-test of your leadership and inter-personal skills. I am not going to pretend that I can teach you how it can be done. It is what any mafia does!

Situation 7: facing a bully in the group

     All bullies fear retaliation so without getting too personal and unparliamentarily, return fire with fire. Do not back off or he'll keep pushing you.

Situation 8: being asked to open the discussion    

     Do not panic. Nor should you start speaking on the topic itself. It’s a golden opportunity to display leadership and organizational skills. Try to establish a procedure by group consensus but never impose your own rules or ideas without consulting others. People are most co-operative when you seek their opinion, advice and agreement.

Situation 9: one person goes on speaking endlessly

     Stop gently, but firmly. Invite someone else to speak and contribute. Don't forget to thank the last speaker for his contribution.

Situation 9: rebuttals

     Rebuttals or counter arguments work best when supported by facts, statistics,   examples or real life incidents. Opinion alone can never be the clinching argument. Remember to be polite and pleasant. Don’t beat the person down when you are shooting the idea down.

Situation 10: being asked to conclude the discussion

     Don't start speaking immediately. Gather your thoughts, recall all the important points and then begin by presenting the major arguments one by one, crediting the ideas to their respective speakers. Towards the end, summarize by accommodating all the major points. Thank the participants and thank the observer.

Situation 11: extreme situations

     On the rare occasions that discussion deteriorates into abuses and fisticuffs, do remember to play the role of peacemaker. Normally, extreme situations require extreme measures but one should realize that a group discussion is an artificially created situation. It does not warrant extreme responses.

Suggestion on handing discussion group members:

     During group discussion some typical roles emerge and people assume these roles as a reflection of their personality and mental state at that point of time. Here are these roles with brief description. Later, we shall see how each of these types needs to be handled. You'll make your job much easier if you can identify the unexpressed needs behind these roles

i. Rebel, the quarrelsome type

     Life position: I'm not ok, you’re not ok

Needs: Respect, Trust, patience, attention

ii. Nurturer, the positive types

Life position: I'm ok, you’re ok

Needs: Recognition, appreciation

iii. Philosopher the know-all type

Life position: I'm ok, you’re not ok

 Needs: acceptance.

iv. Spoiler the over-talkative type

Life position: I'm not ok, you’re ok

Needs: Confidence building measures

v. Provoker the stalker type

Life position: I'm ok, you’re not ok

Needs: to be denied playing into his hands by refusing to be provoked.

vi. Obstructer uncooperative rejecting type

Life position: I'm not ok, you’re not ok

Needs: Friendly treatment to moderation

vii. Irritator the thick skinned type

Life position: I'm not ok, you’re ok

Needs: Emotional space and, objective, matters-of fact handling

viii. Fault finder the blaming type

Life position: I'm ok, you’re not ok

Needs: Recognition and acceptance

ix. Drifter the silent-lonely type

Life position: I'm not ok, you’re ok

Needs: A lot of encouragement without bringing too much attention upon.

x. Leader 

Life position: I'm ok, you’re ok

Needs: Challenges.

How to handle different types:

i. Rebel: Do not get angry. Avoid direct conflict; ask yourself why he is angry? Address his concerns. Think of the ways to utilize this type’s strength and energy.

ii. Nurturer: Very helpful to the leader, May overdo his nurturing at the wrong time and to the wrong person. May be used to end conflicts.

iii. Philosopher Thinks that he knows everything. Avoid arguing with him. Invite others to comment upon the contribution. Allow him to be heard because it’s important to him.

iv. Spoiler- Handle with care. Stop gently if talking too long. Ask them to crystallize their views into main points.

v. Provoker -Deny him the pleasure of being able to provoke you. Throw his questions back to the group. If nobody answers, give your reply as dispassionately as you can, with supporting reasons.

vi. Obstructer- Ease their resistance by commending their knowledge and experience. Highlight their contribution to get them in a participative frame of mind.

vii. Irritator- Their refusal to understand is a cover-up for some inferiority complex or inability to express well. Let the group members try to get through to them but if looks as if the group is getting bogged down, then move on.

viii. Fault-finder- Acknowledge the accuracy of their observation and usefulness of their contribution. Prevent them from over-indulgence by using "yes…. but" technique.

xi. Drifter-  He may be shy, bored, insecure or indifferent so invite them to participate by asking easy questions that will build their confidence. Do not drag them in or they may revert back to their emotional shell.

x. Leader- There are leaders and there are people wanting to be leaders. Over enthusiastic wanna-be leaders should be given some form of visible responsibility.

Conclusion:

     Group discussion is an evaluation tool to gauge a candidate’s ability to function in a group as well as test his capacity for team building. All organizations greatly value the relationship man who becomes a rallying point for many committed followers. Man’s greatest achievements have come through team effort. Bigger the team, bigger the achievement!

But people's motivation for co-operation is not a matter of good-heartedness but their own need fulfillment. Some management thinkers have tried to identify the pattern or commonality of needs among differing individual. Here is Abraham Maslow's "Needs pyramid or Hierarchy of needs".

·       Need for self actualization -5

·       Self-esteem needs -4

·       Affiliation or social needs -3

·       Safety and security needs -2

·       Physiological Needs -1

(Food, clothes, shelter and body drives)

     Maslow's theory is that human needs have a hierarchy. The lower most level of needs is physiological needs or bodily needs. Until this need is not satisfied, the person's entire energy is chanalized to fulfilling it. However, once this need is satisfied, it ceases to be a motivating or driving force. Now, the next level of needs become the priority. At the level of self-actualization needs (the need to utilize almost all the inherent potential for achievement), there is nothing else to look forward to. This theory has to be understood in the context of understanding reasons underlying human behaviour. Only then we can try to adapt human behaviour with the carrot of need fulfillment.

     No one has ever had control over human mind though body is always vulnerable to violence and hence, controllable. Only way to reach into human mind is by understanding the way it functions and then encourage it to function to our advantage. It will not be compelled or placated. It will have to be informed of the advantages of acting in a certain way, it will have to be informed of the disadvantages of acting in a certain fashion so as to induce behaviour to our advantage. It's quid pro quo.

    

Ten Commandments for group discussion participants:

·       Thou shall be brief and to-the-point

·       Thou shall speak. Thou shall speak more than once.

·       Thou shall give a well-thought, carefully worded, balance opinion.

·       Thou shall not fight with anyone or argue unnecessarily.

·       Thou shall not cry or whine

·       Thou shall behave courteously, but also firmly if the situation so warrants.

·       Thou shall not use abusive language.

·       Thou shall not indulge in gossips, side-talks.

·       Thou shall not laugh at or make mockery of anyone

·       Thou shall not make unkind remarks about someone's

            sex, religion, caste, nationality or race.

Discussion vs. argument:

     Let us first understand two of these separately. What is a discussion? A discussion is an exchange of ideas and information's to get a fuller understanding on an issue. The purpose of a discussion is to bring out the best solution. Without any claims to personal glory therefore, the best way one can contribute to the success of a discussion is by being honest with one's views. That helps everybody to understand better, think more clearly and find the most appropriate solution.

     What is an argument? In a debate, a topic or motion is given. There are two sides, one for the motion and other against. Then these two sides try to prove why their point of view is correct and the other side is wrong. Facts, examples, statistics, logic etc is used to support their view point. This is known as an argument, speaking for and against.

     For good or bad, discussions often take the form of debates. A careful planning is all about foreseeing all probable eventualities and preparing to meet them squarely. I have already pronounced my belief that by being too rigid, we invite upon ourselves equally strident opposition. Action and its equal opposite reaction! But sometimes, as history tells us, war becomes inevitable. In a war of words, our weapons and amour are our arguments. It helps to know how to use them. We will call it weapon training.

Why an argument fails?  

i. Over-generalization- Making statements like all women are emotional, everybody is selfish, whites are a superior race etc. is over-generalization. The opponent has to quote just one exception to burn a hole in this 'blanket' statement.

ii. Unfounded inference- It’s about drawing an inference on inadequate evidence. In short, jumping to conclusion e.g. there are cows on the streets mosquitoes and flies everywhere, how can someone live in this country, there are no reads, no electricity, no law and order, I bet Bihar will always remain the black hole it is today, People is India eat mostly vegetarian food and that is why they are not able to produce a single Olympic gold medal winner in athletics etc. You get the drift from these statements?

iii. Hasty prediction- Statements like if corruption is not controlled India will be a failed country by 2020, if this government lasts its full term, the country will have a civil war, if India, Russia and China form a combined group, America will be finished within five years, are examples. The world has become far too complex and unpredictable thus making astrology a risky business, indeed.

iv. Either- Or reasoning- Suggesting just two solutions or suggestion, when there are definitely more alternatives possible e.g. Either hand over India to Army or allow everybody to be corrupt,  Either legalize prostitution or shoot all prostitutes to save the society etc.

v. Mistaken 'cause-effect' relationship- It’s the mistake of attributing an effect to a wrong (unrelated) cause. For example Our country has not developed fast because our national language Hindi has not been accepted by all Indians, The world is committing too many sins, hence all its troubles, All the ills of Bihar flow from the curse of caste politics.

Arguing Effectively:

·       Arouse the listeners' curiosity and interest. It is best done by asking a question and narrating examples. All good advertisements begin by arousing public's curiosity and interest.

·       Modulate the tone of voice, give meaningful pauses (to allow the listeners to deliberate on what you have just said), stress key words to register them in the listeners mind and pronounce the words accurately to avoid any confusion.

·       Establish rapport with the listeners. This is best done by appealing to their emotions, by quoting instances or troubles relating to their own lives. The vegetable growing in our own backyard always seems most delicious.

·       Avoid the five types of faulty arguments outlined above

·       Anticipate your opponent’s arguments. A good lawyer always writes the opposition lawyer's arguments first and then prepares his own against it. It’s called pre-emptive strike, hitting the enemy troops while they are still in their bunkers.

Some other pitfalls in group discussion:

Resorting to fallacies:  A simple description for fallacies is false beliefs. Often fallacies are also popular false belief, so popular that everybody unthinking believes it. look around you own community and you'll find hundreds of them, covering all spheres of personal and public life. Some fallacies get passed on for generations and mature into myths. They are so deep-rooted that people quote them as clinching evidence of absolute truth, brooking no arguments whatsoever.

Quibbling: Raising unnecessary fuss over relatively unimportant issues. It’s arguing just for the heck of it. Complete time waster and extremely bad strategic move. A sure sign of quibbling is the statement "How can you say that" and "what exactly do you mean by that word?”

Poor time allotment for all the points: Most of the time people may have many points to speak on but they fall in love with one idea and then keep harping at it. As a result, other points get ignored and the candidate fails to make a correct impression.

The Final Word:

 A discussion is intended to produce light, not heat.

Annexure II

Quotable Quotes

·       Right ends can never be achieved by wrong means. -Mahatma Gandhi

·       Love conquers all.

·       A reasonable man tries to adapt himself to the ways of this world.

An unreasonable man tries to adapt this world to his ways.

And, therefore, all progress in this world depends on the unreasonable man. – George Bernard Shaw.

·       You can fool some people all the time;

You can fool all the people for some time.

But, you can never fool all the people all the time.

(Substitute 'Please' for 'fool' to have another quote.)

·       Those who live by the gun, die by the gun.

·       Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

·       An ordinary man thinks what he wants to do,

A wise man does what he wants to do,

A fool says what he wants to do.

·       Justice delayed is justice denied.

·        Law is like a donkey. Those who know, ride on it. Those who don’t know get kicked by it.-Ram Jethmalani.

·        Politics is the last resort of scoundrels.

·        Caesar's wife should be above reproach.

·        Power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely. – Lord Acton.

·        If anything looks too good to be true, it often is.

·        If a diplomat says 'yes', it means 'may be',

If he says "may be' it means ‘No’.

If he says 'No' he is not a diplomat.

·        Every country deserves the government is has.

·        Pay peanuts and you'll get monkeys.

·        The boss is always right.

·        Some people are born great. Some acquire greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them.

·        Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration. –Thomas Edison

·        I may not agree to what you are saying but I agree that you have every right to say so.

·        It takes 20 years to build a reputation, and 5 minutes to destroy it-Warren Buffet       

·        Carry a big stick and talk softly-Henry Kissinger

·        It is better to aim at perfection, and miss it rather than aim at imperfection and hit it. – John Lennon,     

·        It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done, - Oscar Wilde

·        There are no uninteresting things; there are only uninterested people. – G.K.Chesterton

·        Most men are eggs; too full of themselves to hold anything else. – Josh Billings.

·        It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. – Oscar Wilde.

·        Into each life some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary. – Longfellow.

·        War, he sung, is toil and trouble

    

·       Best sauce for food is hunger, - Socrates.

·       Hope springs eternal in the human heart.  – Alexander Pope.

·       Honesty is the best policy. 

·       A hero is no braver than an ordinary man.

But he waits five minutes longer.    – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

·       No man is hero to his valet. 

·       The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. – Franklin D. Roosevelt.

·       Faith is the force of life.   – Leo Tolstoy.

·       The lives of great men all reminds us

We can make our lives sublime.

And, departing leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time   – Longfellow

·       Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are already bald. – Navjot Sidhu.

·       All men are born equal but some men are more equal than others. – George Orwell (Animal Farm)

·       My life is in the hands of any fool who makes me lose my temper.

·       Life is like a hospital. Every patient want to change his bed with someone else's

·       Music is the shorthand of emotion.  – Leo Tolstoy.

·       God could not be everywhere. Therefore, he made mothers' –Jewish Proverb.

·       Money is a good servant, but a bad master.

·       Money may not buy happiness, but with it you can be miserable in comfort.

·       When I had money, everyone called me brother. – Polish Proverb.

·       Commonsense is not so common.  

·       A poet can survive anything but a misprint – Oscar Wilde.

·       Speech is silver, silence is golden. – German Proverb.

·       Past is history. Future is mystery. This moment now is a gift. That is why it’s called present.

Annexure -3

Maxims, Sayings & Proverbs:

·       Once bitten, twice shy.

·       A stitch in time saves nine.

·       All that glitters is not gold.

·       Penny-wise pound-foolish.

·       Love begets love.

·       Early bird gets the first worm. (Corollary-An early worm gets eaten first)

·       A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.

·       You can take a horse to water, but can't make him drink.

·       Early to bed & early to rise,

      makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

·       If wealth is lost, noting is lost.

·       If health is lost, something's is lost,

·       If character is lost, everything is lost.

·       Birds of feather flock together.

·       A man is known by the company he keeps.

·       Love they neighbor.

·       Time heals all wounds.

·       Time and tide wait for none.

·       Where there is a will, there is a way,

·       Make hay while sun shines.

·       More, the merrier.

·       There's many a slip, between the cup and the lip.

·       Man proposes God disposes.

·       Beggars can't be choosers.

·       Barking dogs seldom bite.

·       An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.

·       All roads lead to Rome.

·       Rome was not built in a day.

·       A friend in need is friend indeed.

·       Discretion is the better part of valour.

·       Two wrongs do not make a right.

·       It takes all sorts of people to make a world.

·       Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

·       Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

·       Curiosity kills the cat.

·       A cat has nine lives.

·       Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

·       Still waters run deep.

·       Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

·       He that lives in a glass house must not throw stones.

·       To err is human, to forgive driven.

·       Necessity is the mother of invention.

·       It takes two to tango. (Two hands to clap)

·       Better late than never.

·       It’s never too late.

·       Try, try and try until you succeed.

·       Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

·       Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

·       Work is worship.

·       Cleanliness is next to godliness.

·       God only helps those who help themselves.

·       Waste not, want not.

·       Empty vessels sound more.

·       Little knowledge is dangerous.

·       There is no pillow as soft as clear conscience.

·       Silence is golden.

·       Well begun is half done?

·       All is well that ends well.

·       Manners maketh a man.

·       Easy come, easy go.

·       In God we trust; all other must pay cash. (American Saying)

·       Charity begins at home.

·       Excess of everything is bad.

·       Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.

·       Let sleeping dogs lie.

·       Laughter is best medicine.

·       Slow and steady wins the race.

·       Pen is mightier than the sword.

·       Old habits die-hard.

·       One man's meat is another's poison.

·       Every man is maker of his own fortune.